Argonian Cooking-part 1

I had a really rough day today.

I was gathering herbs near Whiterun. I wasn’t paying attention and before I knew it four giants were trying to club my scaley hide! Faendal ran in the other direction in the confusion and left me high and dry. He was screaming like a swamp pig it’s tail on fire. Man, that wood elf can move when he’s motivated. The giants backed off when I got near the gates. I haven’t had to run that fast since I stowed a baby porcupine in my sister’s weaving basket. I’m pretty sure my sister would have clubbed me worse if she would have caught me. Mother put it in a pen out back and harvested the quills for years. She always looks on the bright side.

I’m beat, I’m starving, all I can think about is my mother’s cooking and how homesick I feel today. Go ahead and call me a milk-drinker. Let’s see how you feel after giants chase you and nearly turn you into paste.

Thank you for your help brave adventurer ❤️
Maggie was not a🍼 milk-drinker 🍼

Argonian Recipes

swamp pig butt and sauerkraut

serves 12

  • One 5 to 8 pound pork butt
  • 2 pounds of sauerkraut

place in a large roasting pan with a lid. Slow roast in the oven for 5 hours.

You would think the Nord’s would make sauerkraut. Cabbage is everywhere. I think the Bretons invented it.

Battered Slaughterfish and chips

Serves 2

  • One large or two medium Slaughterfish
  • 6 potatoes sliced thin
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • 2 cups of Flour
  • 3 Eggs
  • 1 lemon 🍋
  • 1tsp of moonsugar
  • Ale
  • Oil

Set one egg, a half a cup of oil, moonsugar and the lemon to the side. We will be making a condiment called  Mayonnaise.

Long ago, there was a legendary wizards duel between Sets-it-on-Fire and Zhay’shaya of the Kahjiit. Sets-it-on-fire was not a destruction mage as the name implies. He was an aspiring chef; who was really bad at cooking. He had a fair amount of magical talent, but cared only for cooking. He bested Zhay’shaya with a Fear spell. When he caught up to her he offered to spare her life in exchange for secret kahjiit recipes and cooking lessons.

Pour oil in a pot and get it to bubbling.

Mix flour, one fourth cup of salt, and a dash of pepper in a bowl. Mix it up a bit. Add half a bottle of ale, and 2 eggs to the dried ingredients. Add a bit more flour if the batter looks too thin.

The oil should be ready for your potatoes. Put the potatoes in the oil with a long handed ladle with holes. Be careful not to get splashed by the oil

Place your clean and boned fish into the batter and coat liberally. 

Check on your chips. They are ready to come out when they are light golden brown. Pour some salt in a bowl and coat your chips. 

Fry your fish till the batter is golden brown.

Drink the rest of your ale while you seperate the egg set aside from the yolk. Cut the lemon in half and squeeze the juice into a small bowl.Mix the oil, moonsugar and egg white vigorously until the mixture is white and creamy.

Your fish and chips should now be cool enough to eat. The mayonnaise can go on both fish and chips. Squeeze the remaining lemon half on them for extra zest.

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Skyrim’s food isn’t too bad. I am used to a bit more variety. We are lucky the civil war hasn’t taken its toll on the food supply. I am happy for this bowl of beef stew, some cheese and good bread. I will add to the cookbook another time. Now that my belly is full. I had better go find Faendal. I bet he ran all the way to Rorikstead. He’s probably three sheets to the wind with Erik by now. 

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Author: coffeebeanjen

Gamer who needs a creative outlet. I'm writing this blog to honor my niece. Who lost her battle with Childhood Leukemia July 24th 2020. We fight on, We spread laughter and reality checks in our wake. 🍼 Don't be a milk-drinker🍼 Support Cancer charities,small business, Artisans,Nature,Gaming communities, Creative writing and ME you MuthaF*!@$. I got a PayPal button with the package I bought. USE it!